I rolled over this morning with my arms reaching out to find my husband. He wasn’t there. My dog was sleeping next to me, so I guess it could have been worse.
To everyone on the outside looking in, it’s like time is flying by. Time is moving so quickly and they are all wondering where the minutes went.
For me, it’s like time is… just… moving, I guess. Because it is supposed to be, right? But it doesn’t feel like I’m going anywhere. It is like time is just standing still. Like the hour glass was flipped over and the sand stopped pouring the second he left. There is no way to measure the time. It has stopped for me, but everyone else’s hourglass is still pouring. *the feeling is a strange one*
You remember when you were a little kid, on the night before Christmas? Waiting patiently or not so patiently for Santa to come down the chimney? It is like that feeling of time. Seconds feel like years. Minutes feel like decades. Can it be morning already?
This is how I feel everyday.
This isn’t meant to be a sad post. I am not sad. I am actually very happy, doing everything I’ve ever dreamed of doing. But there’s still an aching feeling inside me that never settles. I miss my other half, my best friend. The “routines” and “staying busy” help distract my mind from racing about the moment I finally get to see him. But every morning I wake up and for the first ten minutes, its there. The feeling of being alone. The feeling of knowing we aren’t even half way there. The feeling of a frozen hourglass. It’s like this Christmas Eve will never end.
The past week I have found myself wrapped up in novels. Novels of other people’s lives. I am on my fourth novel this week. I am not sure if the binge reading is because I’ve desperately needed a good story or if I am searching for the stories of being loved, touched, and romanced. Either way, I’ve been filling my brain with romance one novel at a time. And for this week, it seems to be working.
So, send me your favorite love story, or tell me all about yours. ❤